“Yes I have died twice for several minutes. Both were from suicide attempts and the two experience s were very different.
The first time I had overdosed, lost consciousness, stopped breathing and had no pulse. At first everything was just dark nothingness and then I became conscious and aware in my mind, while still being technically dead.
I was in a cold dark place and I was completely paralyzed and terrified. I tried desperately to just open my eyes but as hard as I tried I couldn’t move a single muscle anywhere on my body. There was no sound or any sensation except for the cold and overwhelming terror. I was completely alone there. I realized that I must be in hell. I can’t overemphasize the sheer horror. There are no words to describe that level of fear. I panicked and began to pray like I’ve never prayed in my life before or since. I begged and pleaded with God to please give me another chance. Please! Please! I’ll do anything! I’m so sorry! Don’t leave me here God! I kept praying frantically and unceasingly. Nothing. I was screaming internally. I knew I was damned forever. This went on for a very long time. It felt like I was in that hell place for months, if not years. I wanted my last shred of sanity to snap so maybe I wouldn’t be so scared. But I remained totally aware and cognizant.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity I was granted a blessed unconsciousness. I awoke from a coma in the ICU on life support several days later. I was so happy that I was back and could open my eyes and move a little, although I was strapped to the bed. The relief was indescribable.
I have been in some very dangerous and frightening situations in my life, including being held at gun point and assaulted and threatened with death. When I was 12 I was locked in a building outdoors in the middle of winter and nobody knew where I was. I was stalked before. Nothing came close to this terror.
This experience was enough to keep me from attempting suicide again for a long time. Eventually though I tried again. Same thing. This time I died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I remember feeling like I didn’t need to breathe anymore, there was no urge to breathe. I remember a paramedic hitting me very hard on the chest and yelling at me to stay with him. Then it was fade to black again.
This time when I regained awareness I was floating in the darkness somewhere. I had the thought that I could be in space but there were no stars or any light. I became aware of something in the darkness before me and it radiated pure malevolence and hatred. I knew it was going to torture me both physically and emotionally. Well I must be back in hell. I waited and it was just toying with me, moving closer then moving away. I felt like a mouse in a cat’s claws. It kept playing with me like it was just enjoying my fear. I got angry. All fear left me and I said aloud “Just get it over with, damn you!”
Suddenly it was like the entity was pulled away from me at an incredible speed. It was still dark but I no longer felt threatened. I was overcome with the feeling of a benevolent presence and I felt loved and forgiven for everything that I had ever done wrong in my life and that every mistake I’d made was wiped clean. I’ve never felt such love and understanding and forgiveness before. I basked in it for a while and then lost consciousness again. I awoke from my coma two days later. As soon as I was medically stable I was handcuffed and transported to a psych ward in a cop car (which is pretty standard). Psych wards are not fun to say the least, but for a couple of days I retained the incredible feeling of being loved and understood so that made it easier.
Why did I have two such different Near death experience? I don’t know. I also have no idea which place I’ll be going to next.
[EDIT] This is only my own personal experience. I’m sharing it because it was intense and I thought someone else may find it interesting or helpful in some way. I do not want to debate about God, religion, heaven or hell. I’m not even certain what my own beliefs are, except that I believe there can be something after death.
[ETA] I know that I was dead not solely because of my experiences but also because I requested to read my medical records of both occasions.” – Amie Greenaway