Writer Stephanie Theobald went on a trip to the United States to rediscover female pleasure. These are the secrets and the 7 types of female orgasms that he discovered
Arriving in New York in 2015 with a failed relationship and a body I felt out of touch with, I decided to go on a 3,497-mile journey across America to rebuild my orgasm from scratch. But what started as the search for the best autoerotic experience turned into a fantastic journey into my own body.
As my journey progressed, I found myself a modern-day Alice in Wonderland, meeting heroic sexually positive feminist pioneers of the 1970s and immersing myself in a countercultural America of marijuana lollipops, extraterrestrial pleasure cults, and sexologists. ‘ eco sexual ‘.
I found myself meeting heroic sexually positive feminist pioneers of the 1970s and immersing myself in a countercultural America of extraterrestrial pleasure cults and ‘eco-sexual’ sexologists.
In an era where the phrase ‘female empowerment’ has become jargon that corporations use to check boxes, my belief is that we can never be truly empowered as women unless shame-free sexuality is also in the mix. .
When I returned from my adventure in the United States and began to give readings from the resulting book: Sex Drive: on the way to a pleasure revolution, It was clear to me that women are thirsty for honest knowledge about our body and our desire.
We have endured so many anti-climax books and movies that promise to explore female sexuality in an honest way. But in reality all we receive is giggles, shy giggles or the desire of men reflected in us.
I’d like to assure women that good times are ahead. The Second Sexual Revolution (the first in the 1960s and 1970s focused on men. At the time he was still wondering if women had orgasms) is really underway.
All of the orgasms listed below can be achieved without anyone else. In fact, you better practice them on your own before anything else. That’s the best thing about Pleasure Revolution, as I call it. There’s no pressure, no egos, it’s about playing games, keeping things light, keeping vibrations high, and bringing life force back into your life. And once you’ve fired up, it’s your duty to fire up the next woman so we can keep this going and take it even higher. Clit up, ladies!
Ballet Vulva Orgasms
Read my lips: masturbation is the basis of female sexuality. It is not a second-rate activity. It will give you a better sex life when you finally go to bed with someone else, because why should your partner know how to get you turned on when you don’t know how to do it yourself?
Sexual drive was inspired by a ‘masturbation masterclass’ that sex positive feminist legend Betty Dodson, now 89, has revived and attended. At one point, you noticed that masturbation needs foreplay just like partner sex. So it begins with a vulvar massage that Betty describes as “like a ballet with only almond oil.” (She despises expensive commercial lubricants. Over the weekend, Betty said things like, “I went through the Sexual Revolution using almond oil.”)
Why should your partner know how to get you turned on when you don’t know how to do it yourself?
Get back to being friendly with your vulva. The vulva is the correct name for the female genitalia because the word encompasses the complete works: the inner and outer labia, the clitoris, the vagina, the urethra. Betty is enraged by the way so many women misuse the word ‘vagina’. The vagina is the damn birth canal!
Part of the vulva ballet includes cupping the hands and smelling the scent of the vulva. “I always test myself before making love to calm myself down,” Betty told us. “It’s the equivalent of testing your breath to see if you want to brush your teeth.”
Fast food orgasms
Read my lips again: porn is fine. If you get off porn hub then it’s okay. The dirtier the better. Fantasy helps focus the mind. Don’t worry that your fantasy isn’t feminist enough. You can’t eat Ottolenghi every day. Sometimes you just want a Big Mac.
In Sexual driveI mention some of the female-run porn sites so you can be sure that the people in the videos are not being exploited. Worrying about those things is never good for orgasm. Also, consider doing your own ‘porn’ in your head. It’s called “fantasy” and it can be a lot more creative than watching erotica on the web. Again, don’t worry if your personal porn movie is too rude.
Most of us are not psychopathic and ethical and we would hardly ever do half the things that come to mind in our sexual fantasies. But as a way to get you turned on, these mini movies can do the trick.
Haute cuisine orgasms
The problem with watching porn is that you can come across someone else’s fantasy. This is where fine dining comes into play. It is also known as Tantra, although I do not use that word in Sexual drive as it has become a small synonym for Sting.
Basically, Tantra refers to the breath, sensory focus, and energy moving around your body. You have to do your homework and practice, but the rewards are long-lasting and intense.
Kink tantrica Barbara Carrellas teaches me a technique that she writes about in her book, Urban tantra, which causes what she describes as a “prolonged state of ecstasy accompanied by the sensation of champagne bubbles dancing under the skin.”
Start off with dirty trucker-style fantasies (or whatever you have in your fast food pantry), but then when you’re about to arrive, stop and imagine yourself breathing that erotic energy into your heart.
Repeat this a couple of times until you can’t hold back anymore and finally let yourself go and feel an ecstasy of energy shooting up from the soles of your feet to the top of your head.
Ecological sexual orgasms
Annie Sprinkle was one of America’s fetish pornstars in the 1980s and early 1990s and now advocates a brilliant new movement called Eco Sexuality, in which you posit nature as your lover as opposed to your mother. . So smell that rose like it’s a lover giving you a gift. Caress the trunk of the tree that you are passing in the street as if it were the back of a beautiful child.
As Annie once told me: ‘Ecosexuality is about making love to everything. With clouds, with your dog sitting there, with the plant on the windowsill. It’s like, you know, there’s sex and life force everywhere. ‘
I end up having an orgasm with an oak tree on Sexual drive
As I drove further west on my road trip and the more time I spent on my masturbation ‘homework’, the more I realized that sexuality and spirituality are closely linked.
As you become more sensitive, you begin to tune into the different energies around you. I end up having an orgasm with an oak tree on Sexual drive But you will have to read the book to see how it works!
This is another Annie Sprinkle-ism that she articulates in her book The Explorer’s Guide to the Planetary Orgasm. It is when you are having wonderful, meaningful and deep sex with a partner and you reach out and instead of screaming with joy and passion, you find yourself on the verge of bursting into tears.
This is a common and perfectly acceptable form of erotic liberation in sex for women, but I have never seen it portrayed in a movie. Hopefully the fact that this state now has a word will help women feel less ashamed (much of the Pleasure Revolution is about getting rid of this shame that permeates so much of our sexuality).
As Annie points out in Sexual drive, people who are smart about sex will understand that ‘you can be in a state of ecstasy but also in a state of sadness. But you can bathe almost any feeling in ecstasy. ‘
21 Day Challenge Orgasms
For the next 21 days, tell your partner that you are going to do the dishes tonight (they will benefit from this practice, so tell him to hang on).
Then turn off your phone, go to your room, and close the door. Now you can do anything there for 35 minutes for the next 21 days. Put on sexy lingerie and look at yourself in front of the mirror or undress and get into bed. You don’t have to have an orgasm.
To start, just be intimate with yourself. Touch your body, experiment with that new sex toy you recently received through the post, make up some sexy movies in your head that revolve around the boy you saw in the M&S queue or the woman who sold you the perfume in the big houses. warehouses. Do / think / feel what you want. Live a little!
Nobody knows what the hell you’re doing there. Your friends will soon start wondering if you’ve been on a secret vacation. The answer is yes. Reveal your secret and tell them to do it too. Exchange notes. Start talking about honest female sexuality.
Stephanie theobald She is a writer, journalist, novelist and traveler.
His first three novels, Biche, Sucking Shrimp, Y Trix They were published between 2000 and 2004.
His fourth novel, A partial indulgence, came out in 2010 and was acclaimed by The times how to deliver “art, sex, money, class. . . with enormous style ”.
He currently writes for publications that include The Guardian, The Sunday Times, Elle Y The Financial Times, her work focuses on sexuality, gender and unconventional people.
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